Autocorrect

Autocorrect is even worse than just typoing on a keyboard

At least on a keyboard, people can tell that you mistyped

With autocorrect, you just message people with this perfectly spelled word that makes absolutely no sense

That Moment When #2

your selfie camera is better than your far camera.

I got a phone upgrade

From this:

to this:

Apparently TracFone isn't servicing my <old> slide phone anymore. 

They shipped me the [old-person, dumby, ancient, archaic] flip phone. 

FOR FREE they told me

I have already pinched my finger hard while shutting the phone. 

I'm an awkward person.

Me mad at phonecompany.